opposing emotions

I am weary of the school year.  I am tired of the running and the nagging about homework and the endless check writing for lunch money, field trips, and fund raising.

I want the lazy sunshine of summer where the children will sleep in, do some summer work and chores and then off to the pool we go!  Ah the joy of these past 15 summers doing that routine!!  LOVE. IT!

But with each passing summer my children move up a grade, as most children do.  My daughter will be a junior, one of the most important school years of her life.  Buggie will be an 8th grader. The end of "elementary" school, the last year before the "big time".  And sweet Smoochie will not be in Kindergarten, moving onto 1st grade.  I will officially be done with babies, toddlers, preschoolers and young children.

Can I get the joy of summer without the kiddos moving into the next grades?!?! I'm not ready for the changes that the fall will bring!!!!  Change and joy: I can't have one with out the other, so bring on the summer!  The joy will be worth the change!

Despair

I wrote a blog about the Boston Bombing.  I thought I was pretty numb about the whole thing.  I didn't post it because I wanted to edit it, and then I got busy.  I reviewed it. Wow, so not hopeful!

Clearly it had a much bigger impact than I thought.

I need to think about that, pray about it, and ask my children about it.

I'll keep you posted on my progress.

bringing them home

When I was a child, I LOVED school.  I loved learning.  I adored my teachers.  Most of the time I got along with my friends.

As a parent I LOVE school most of the first semester.  It is exciting to buy the new school supplies (who doesn't love a new box of crayons?!?!)  and new clothes to help your realize how much they have grown over the summer and an end to the sibling rivalry.

The kids will never admit it, but I know they are always excited to see their friends.

That "new school year" buzz lasts till right around Halloween and then the holiday excitement begins and we're all good to the first of the year.  January usually has a lot of snow around here so we get 2 hour delays and the occasional snow day.

Then the long haul until spring break.  8 weeks of cold, dark, homework driven monotony!!!  I start the count down to spring break long before the children do.  This year we didn't travel, so the monotony had no relief. Until I counted down exactly how many school days left till summer.

Thank you sweet Jesus...just 40 days till we're all home for summer!!!!! YAY!!!

No more running here or there after work, no more nagging about homework, no more endless check writing and paperwork checking.... I. cannot. wait!  (don't beat me up homeschooling moms! I know I have no reason to complain, but I'm going to anyway!)

I can't wait to bring them all home for summer!

Just like any

good mother would!

the movies

Smoochy and I went to the movie Saturday.

That is a really hard thing for people with autism.  You would think that being in an environment where a bunch of seats are the same, dark walls and low lighting would be totally stimulus neutral.

But it is really loud, with lots of people moving around, and a larger than life screen that is flashing with different images every 10 seconds.  Not to mention the smell of food, perfume and cleaning supplies.  Something that many of us consider soothing and relaxing puts an autistic person on hyper drive.

When he was much smaller we could only go to matinees and sit on the end of an aisle, usually close to the exit.  He would have to get out of his seat and into the aisle about 20 times. He would take it as long as he could and then he would beg to go home.  I rarely made it through an entire movie, and at $5.50 a pop, we just didn't risk it very often.

But today was the close of spring break and I had nothing fun to show for it.  We had to buy a van and until that house sells we have no resources for traveling.  I wanted everyone to go, but they are such diverse ages that they couldn't agree on a movie and they most certainly didn't want to see a "baby" pg movie.  So the 'baby" and I went together.

It. was. glorious!!!!

He only got out of his seat twice.  He only asked to go home 5 times.  And once the movie he started....he. watched. it.  YAY!!!

Such a simple, simple, thing that we expect children to just know how to do with pretty easy instructions.  And today my sweet, sweet Smoochy mastered it!!!

I couldn't be prouder or happier, just like

a good mother would!

Redoubling the Efforts.....

I thought I had a really decent Lent.  Not horrible like in some years past, but not super great where you can feel the Lord moving in your life everyday.  But I did increase my prayer efforts, made it to confession, was able to work on the kiddos and generally felt good about it.

That is when I should have realized that I was kidding myself.

Suddenly during Holy Week, I realized I wasn't ready for Easter.  40 Days wasn't long enough!!!

I thought I was crazy, but I talked to some of my girlfriends....and they said the same thing!!!

So we are redoubling our efforts and continuing our Lent, but with joy thrown in....

We are all going to try and do the same things everyday, keep track of it and make a spiritual bouquet for Our Lady.  That seems like a super way to spend the 50 days of Easter!

Now I'm glad that Easter has arrived and I can make something of that season too instead of just eating chocolate!

Because,

a good mother would!

language of civilization

Holy week was a challenge.

With the Supreme Court getting the marriage cases, I was on fire defending traditional marriage on Facebook.  Trying to keep liberals on point in a conversation is like herding cats.  I was walking a fine line between defending the faith and marriage and having to win and be recognized for being "right". I hope I stayed on the right side of the line!

Since I'm friends on Facebook with only people I know, I consider them my peers.  People like me.  I know that not everyone lives as I do, but I felt reasonably certain that since we were all Americans, we all spoke the same English language.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

We couldn't agree on the definition of the words,  men and women, spouse, natural law or pedophile.  It was eye opening. I had no idea that while I had been exchanging pleasantries with these people for years, they had quietly accepted an alternative reality to one that I had taken for granted for far too long.  I knew they had disagreed with my belief system, but I hadn't realized that they had embraced a belief system hostile to my own.  I feel like it happened over night.  I can only wonder at how much more fruitful my Lent would have been if I'd realized this truth earlier.  It sure did whip my Holy Week into shape quickly!

Our society is in deep, deep trouble.  It has fallen far further than I anticipated and I think it happened much more quickly than I realized.

What happens to a society that can't agree on such fundamental words as men and women?   Or spouse? What Natural Law is? I don't think it ends well.

If you don't feel comfortable defending your positions, do what you need to do to get comfortable.  Read, join organization with like minded people and most importantly pray.

Your children's futures depend on it, our society depends on it and God demands it!