what I want him to know

BS and I meet with our Bishop on Friday to talk about what happened to Smoochie.

I'm grateful for the opportunity to express our concerns face to face.  We realize that many people will never be given this chance.

So I feel very responsible to represent all special needs families that have been rejected, abandoned, and tossed out of schools like pieces of trash.

I'm a little freaked out on how to convey the most important and relevant information in the least amount of time.  I don't know how much time we have, but I want to be prepared for less.  If we get more, then all the better.

Is this what I want the Bishop to know???

• We aren't exactly sure what happened.  We just know a teacher was injured and had to be checked out at the hospital.
• We have not been given any written documentation, or correspondence from the school or diocese.  The principle did return my phone call after I left a message about a form that we received from the school
• This was the flagship program, the best of the best.  The one that the rest of the diocesan schools was going to use to set up their special needs programs.  It was supposed to have the full support of the diocese and a special advisory board for resources, and supply any aides that a student might need.
• Tuition was $15000 because of all of these "resources".
• James was accepted into the program with the understanding that he would need a full time aide, which would be provided by the school/diocese.  This "aide" is a mom from
  Saint Jude parish with no "special needs" training other than an autism seminar that she and the resource teacher attended in October.
• When I was called to the school to discuss the "accident", I was informed by the principle that James needed a full time special education aide. When I stated that he did have a full time aide, the principle responded with, "she isn't properly trained and he needs someone specifically trained".  
• At no time during the past 3 semesters were we ever told that we would have to provide training for school personnel.
• We affirm the difficulty of integrating special needs students. We have been completely supportive of the school and school staff.  We have been completely cooperative in every possible way.
• We enrolled James with the understanding that staff and his full time aide would be capable of handling his needs and would have the resources needed to do so.
• When we were asked to leave because we couldn't provide the "required" resources for him to stay enrolled, there was no recourse, there was no cooling off period, there was no consultation with parents, teachers, and advisory board, for creative solutions to enable my son to remain in his school.  The pastor wasn't even present. The accident happened at 8 something and James and I were walking out the door by 9:30 a.m.  End of conversation, principle got to make the final decision, have the final say.

That's it in a nutshell. Do you think that is short, sweet, and relevant?  Does it convey our pain with out accusation?  Is the complete and utter failure revealed without throwing anyone under the bus?  

Thankful that we have a couple of days to review, think and rewrite!

Pray for us and all special needs families that we can have the opportunity to give our children a Catholic education just like every other student!

realization

We always put up our tree on the third weekend of Advent.

In the past it was always so hard to make the children wait another week and typically that week before Christmas is so busy that I honestly never had time.  And since the third Sunday of Advent is all about Joy, it worked.

This year was no exception.

What was different this year was realizing that I'm on the tail end of parenting.  I have mostly young adults and teenagers now.  They won't always live here.  They won't always want to decorate MY tree.  They will have their OWN trees.  And I will be a visitor to their homes to see their trees.  And they will come and see my tree and remember.  Bittersweet.

BUT this year was a joy.  I let them have at it and just sat there and listened to them be siblings as they decorated OUR tree.  And this momma's heart was comforted even as I realized that it was the beginning of the end.  They will all be leaving in the next 10 years to begin their own traditions.  I wonder how many will be ones that we started here?

Joy in the moment, even when I realized that it can't last forever.  Made me cherish it even more....

a good mother would!

anger

Now I'm just ticked.

That school had my son for 3 semesters.

I entrusted them with my most precious treasure.  I laughed with them, cried with them, and loved them.

Then it all got thrown away.

I understand how and why it happened.  But I will never understand the way it was done.  So quick, under duress with no recourse, no hope.  So. not. Catholic.

Today I got a form in the mail to "withdraw" my student from the school. Oh. HELL. NO!!!

No note.  No explanation. No letter.  Not even a post it note for crying out loud!

I quickly left a voice mail, that there must have been an misunderstanding.  My son was not with drawn from the school.  Please call me.

We'll see if the principle does.  It is ridiculous the lack of compassion in these Catholic Schools especially in regards to special needs.

It could make you loose the faith.  Luckily I think I'll keep mine....

a good mother would!

wept....

Sweet Smoochie attacked the resource teacher at mass today.

Apparently it is frowned upon autistic 8 year olds playing "knock out" with their teachers.

He was promptly expelled.

I get it, I really do.  I managed to keep it together until we got outside to the parking lot.  I wept all the way to the car.

I wept during the phone call to my husband to let him know what happened.

I dropped the boy off at home and immediately when to our church.  And then I wept to Jesus. I mean middle eastern professional griever weeping.  It  has been at least 3 years that I have been that heart broken.  I need a path, some guidance, a direction, to move forward.

Do you want to know what He said?

Trust Me.

The answer to your all your questions.

So I will trust Him.  And maybe, just maybe I will stop weeping.

a good mother would.....

WAR!

I'll bet y'all thought I was going to write about the first Sunday of Advent.  Nah, I'm going to let other people write about that!  But I will just say, I LOVE ADVENT!  :)

Our local Catholic high school had the honor and privilege to play in the State Championship game on Saturday at our NFL team's stadium.  I took our middle three to see the battle game.  It was an EXPERIENCE!

The stadium is huge, huge, huge!  I cannot imagine what it's like on Sundays when our team is home. Did I mention that we were given free tickets???  We would never be able to afford taking 4 of us to an NFL game, so it was great to be there to see the local boys play.

The opposing team was undefeated and had slaughtered every team for their entire season. The lowest score of their season was 40 points.  The highest was 72.  Who scores 72 points in football??!?! I mean honestly, that is cruel.  Put your freshmen in for crying out loud, but don't beat down a team by 72 points! I digress....

Our boys were scrappy all season.  We were 11 and 3.  We had some awesome wins and some losses that we shouldn't have.  Nobody, and mean, N.O.B.O.D.Y thought we were state material.

It was 21 to 7, opponent, going into half time.  I don't know what our coach said in the locker room, but our boys came out on fire!  We scored 14 straight points and then it was 4th quarter.  We went for 2 after a touchdown, but didn't make it.  We had 27.  Then they got the ball.  They scored with the point after, 28.

That is when the war began.  Those boys ground out for a minute and thirty seconds.  We were determined to score, and they were determined to stop us.  It was a tremendous thing to watch.

They did stop us.  But we didn't let them score 40 points.  We proved that we did deserve to be there. And we made them earn it.  Our boys had nothing to hang their heads about.  I know they were disappointed, but wow!!! What. a. game!!!!

I reminds me so much of war of old.  Hand to hand combat, grinding it out on the ground. Young men defending their "turf".  The more things change the more things remain the same.....

It was something to see and I'm so glad that we had the opportunity.