young adults

2!!! Count em. 2!!!

It's official.

I am the proud parent of 2 young, legal, adults.

T-Rex turned 21 years old last week.

And if I were the typical American parent, I would be "done" with parenting. I would have 2 young men out on their own, leaving me and my husband to our empty nest.

No more massive laundry, grocery bills, evening practices, events, school meetings.

That would be all over, finished.

Thank you Sweet Jesus, that you gave me the grace to not be that!!!!

Where would I be without these next 4 not-young-legal-adult people????

I am so grateful that my parenting isn't over!!!!

a good mother would!

not forgotten.....

I was 39 when our daughter died.

In today's society I was "irresponsible" for being pregnant "again" when I already had 5 children. With 2 of them being special needs, and being "old & tired" in the "high risk" pregnancy category, I should never had "wanted" or "tried" to have another child.

I didn't care.

The more the merrier was my motto.

And the joy, oh the joy, when we found out it was another girl after our string of boys!!!

I had never looked forward to having a child as much as I had with that one!! The one that society said I was "blah, blah, blah" to have. Oh, how I still want her!!!!

Today is the 10 year anniversary of the day that a link in our family was broken. It is still in tact in God's time, but here on earth we are missing a daughter, sister, our baby girl.

It isn't acceptable to say in polite society that I'm the mother of 10 with 6 still living. I know. I've tried. People absolutely freak out when you say it. But the missing children are not forgotten. Even though I'm the only one in the family that "knew" them, even my knowledge of them is fleeting. We don't know what they would have liked, or looked like, or grown to be. But they are members of our family, and are not forgotten.

So I look at little girls in the 4th grade and wonder who she would have been friends with, what her interests would have been, how the older sons and daughter would have been with a little sister. What would it be like to have a 10 year old girl living in my home?

It wasn't meant to be.

And even though I don't have all those answers, or knowledge, or the fulfillment of those hopes and dreams for that dear little daughter, she is still very much a presence in my family.

Surely absent, but not forgotten, and still loved.

Uncharitable

My dad fell off a step stool on Memorial Day weekend.

After 3 hours in the ER, we found out that he had a lumbar compression fracture. Basically one of his vertebra collapsed. His pain tolerance was remarkable, admirable, and enviable. Too bad men can't give birth, cause he would totally be rockin that pain!!!!

I have been making the trip to my home town once a week to check up on my parents. My mother's health isn't great either and I have now entered care taker mode of elderly parents. I am so grateful that they have been independent up to this point, since my youngest is now 9. I have much more time to be able to be split between 2 households.

Yesterday I made my visit. While in the house helping my mom, we heard the lawn mower going. It was my father, 3 weeks into recovery of a broken back, mowing. the. lawn.

I. WAS. FURIOUS.

1. That was one of the reasons I came down. And I brought the 12 yr old to teach him.

2. Dad isn't healed yet, isn't supposed to lift anything over 10 pounds, let alone push a mower! He just got released to drive!

3. I felt that it was very reckless and could have caused further damage.

I prayed and prayed for the rights words to let my father know how unhappy I was with his choice.

I should have prayed some more.

I'm pretty sure I wasn't charitable, or respectful, to my father. Who is struggling with pain, humiliation, and loss of some independence. It can't be easy to realize that you are now old and being told what to do and don't do, by other people.

Not much of a Happy Father's Day present.

I'll apologize today when I call him.

a good daughter would!

I'm leaving

Going on retreat today!

WOOO WHOOO!!!

20 of us are going to the local shrine of Venerable Solanus Casey and spending the night.

It was an epic Lent, Easter and now octave of Pentecost.  Insanely blessed beyond any reasoning of deserving such graces.

I'll be praying!!!!

So many needs for so many souls and I'm so lazy! I shouldn't have to go away to be this committed to prayer! I hope this retreat helps me to get better with that.

Let me gain the graces to be the saint I was made to be!!!!

Precious Paper

We went to the 8th grade recognition banquet this week.

You know the ones. Where all the brightest, gifted, athletic kids get recognized for being the brightest, gifted and athletic. Nothing like getting kudos for doing what you were made to do, for using your God given talents in the manner that He meant for them to be used.

We sat there for 2 and half hours as the same kids were hauled up in front of the group of parents. And I was happy for them. But I also watched as my son's shoulders sank lower with each passing moment of award after award and his name wasn't called. And I felt badly that I hadn't anticipated this. All of our other children have gotten a couple of awards and I thought he would be the same.

I thought wrong.

This sweet, sweet, Godly boy, who works so hard to be like everybody else, didn't get to walk up front countless times. This child who couldn't walk on stairs correctly, who couldn't talk, or write, or etc, etc, etc didn't get lots of "atta boys". How far this boy has taken all of his "couldn'ts" and made them "coulds". And yet there was no recognition for that. No, this boy who works so hard and has come so far for straight Bs and to have friends and to manage being part of our society didn't get what everybody else got.

Nope. Nada. Nothing.

But all those "talented" kids doing what their supposed to be doing? Let the praise rain down!

There is one piece of paper that this young man child did receive, however.

He got the Integrity Award.

The teachers' awarded him a high honor. In my opinion the highest honor of the night. "For always choosing to do what is right".

While all the other children were being honored for all they DO, my son got honored for who he IS.

He may not have been impressed with "just one lousy piece of paper after 8 years of work", but I was grateful. I would rather have that piece of paper than a social studies award, or being number 1 in the class. It shows his true character, his drive, his gentility, and his perseverance.

I am so proud of this young man and I am glad to be called his mother.

A good mother would!

End of An Era

The big, green, McBride bus is gone today.

It had been hanging around, unused, for the better part of 2 years. It was the back up vehicle when the "regular" van was in the shop, or if I were hauling a bunch of people, or helping friends move . But other than that, she was parked, faithfully waiting for when she would be needed again.

I. LOVED. that. van.

All 6 of the children rode in it to countless trips back and forth between schools. Which, some years, was up to 5 different buildings! I have no idea how many newspapers were delivered, trips to the zoo, family camping trips, boy and girl scout outings, church retreats, and school field trips that van went on in the 8 years we had it. But they are some of the most joyeous memories I have. And they were all contained in that silly, big, old van!

That is why I hung on to her for so long. She might be needed again for some fun, exciting excursion. As long as all 6 kids are hanging around, we might need to go somewhere!

But a funny thing happened. Those 6 kids are growing up. Even if they are still living at home, they aren't all going to same place at the same time anymore. And 3 of the 6 can drive themselves with a 4th coming on early next year. I'm not needed to make sure they get where they need to be any longer. So neither is the van needed.

The McBride bus is now the Bedwell bus. A young family with 5 sweet little ones still in car seats, in desperate need of the all the room Big Green has to offer, now will make their own special memories with the van. 

As I watched them drive off with happy smiles last night, I was a little sad to see my van drive away filled with someone else's babies. I realized that mine are all grown up. That my era of those types of memories is coming to a close. 

When one era ends, another begins and there is a reason for the season of life. This new one is just as sweet, albeit wildly different, than the demanding early years. I'm blessed beyond compare and so grateful for the new memories and events coming to me in the future.

So, you are called to service once again Big Green! Enjoy it as much as they will enjoy you! Carry the Bedwell family as safely as you did us, serve them well. Many, many, more happy memories shall fill the space between your wheels again!

Thank you for a job well done and the precious treasure of memories with which you have left me. 

God speed Big Green, God speed!

epic day

It was a beautifully cool day here yesterday. Lots of sunshine and comfortable breezes. Most of the leaves are out and there is starting to be plenty of shade.

The Beloved Spouse came home from mass in a really good mood and said, "What is our outdoor plan for today children?"

The Right Hand Man spouted out, "Go to the zoo." (He was getting ready for work and I think he secretly wanted to go with us! How many 22 year olds suggest the zoo as an outing for their families??? LOVE that young man!)

So we did.

It was crazy busy. Apparently the whole city had the same idea we did!

We "borrowed" a wheelchair for Smoochie and we made it through the entire zoo. It was a spectacular visit. Made a DQ run on the way home.

Buggie proceeds to say, "Mom, what a great day this is."

T-Rex bought pizza for dinner so I wouldn't have to cook.

Wickers says, "Mom, what a great day this is."

sigh.....

Was it Mother's Day again? Because this is the kind of day you expect on Mother's Day. I suppose that made it even sweeter because it wasn't a day manufactured out of obligatory sentiment, but a true desire to spend family time on beautiful spring day.

I recognize that I am eternally blessed and grateful....

a good mother would!